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Umami Burger
Umami Burger, a burger chain from sunny Los Angeles, landed in Chicago in September. It’s just north of my neighborhood. I’ve been putting off going, since chain restaurants don’t usually give me a...
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Jimmy Jamm’s Honey Cream Pie
Growing up in a Korean-American household, pie wasn’t something I really ate. The pies I did eat were those little hand-pies from Hostess, which were always good — but I knew deep inside, in my secret...
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So How’s Shake Shack?
I have a really sad confession to make. I…haven’t been to New York City. I’m 33. I know, I need to go. A bunch of my friends live there and I miss every one of them. I’m a total penis. I’m still making...
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A Critical Look into the Cuisine of Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament
Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament is basically the greatest place on earth. It’s dinner theater (how much of this luxury even exists anymore?), with medieval-style games, including jousts,...
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The Chicago Italian Beef Combo Bloody Mary, aka Coach Juice
I saw Mike Ditka in person once. Years ago, my mom and I were in the car together, running errands. On our way back home, we were sitting behind a bunch of people at a stop sign, stuck for no apparent...
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Fappy Valentine’s Day!
First of all, Happy Valentine’s Day! And to me, and all y’all single people — I wish you a wonderful self-loving day of loneliness. So Fappy Valentine’s Day to you, good single people of planet Earth....
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Balut Two Ways: The Balut Egg Salad Sandwich and The Balut Spam Scotch Egg
I like to watch television shows about food. In fact, many of you might be surprised — I originally got a lot of my real culinary knowledge from watching television. Now that food television has turned...
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Baconfest Chicago is Insane
Chicago has lots of cool food festivals every year. There’s the Food Film Festival, where you get to watch short films about food and eat what’s on screen, Chicago Gourmet, which is strictly for rich...
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How to Recreate the KFC Chizza at Home
Kenfucky, or uh, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC), came out with a new fast food creation called The Chizza. That dumb name is already a bad sign. Can you guess what that made-up name means? Picture...
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How to Lose a Hot Dog Cookoff
Last Saturday, I was invited to the Gapers Block 3rd Annual Charity Hot Dog Cookoff to compete as a chef. They called me a “chef.” That’s the first time anyone has called me that. Most of the time,...
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Natto Baked Beans
A few weeks ago, I ate dinner with my friend Joyce from Chicago Agashi, at a great Chicago restaurant called Izakaya Mita. A while back, Joyce interviewed me about losing a hot dog cookoff (which you...
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Happy 1st Birthday to The Pizzle!
Last October, I began my first step on a great journey. You see, October 31st, 2014, was the day I started The Pizzle. And guess what? It’s been a whole year since I started this stupid website! So...
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The Chicago-Style Hot Dog Terrine
When you live in Chicago, you are automatically required, by law, to talk about hot dogs every day. We talk about hot dogs all the time because we have our own style of hot dog, called “The...
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Valentine’s Day For One: What It’s Like to Eat Fondue by Yourself
As you all know, Valentine’s Day is next Sunday. Many of you will wave your hands and go, “Dannis, Valentine’s Day is silly. We celebrate our love every day. Valentine’s Day is a horseshit made-up...
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How to Eat Korean Barbecue on a Budget
These days, being unemployed and having my checking account wiped out a few weeks back, it is very important for me to enjoy food on a tight budget. This is generally a serious concern for not only me,...
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How to be a Judge at Baconfest Chicago
Last year at this time, I had the fun opportunity to go to Baconfest Chicago (which you can read about here). I brought my friend Drew (hi Drew!), we got drunk, and ate a lot of baconed-out things. It...
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The Relationship Test: Candy Corn Elotes
If you want to be a well-respected food blogger, every now and then you need to tell people that you have your own take on a Mexican street food staple, elotes. Then you must accept the round of...
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